I´m a Food Addict

Today I watched Oprah´s last show on weight loss. It provokes such a frustration and turmoil in me. I can relate to many things but I don´t relate to many more. One of the things I truly relate to is to accept that "I´m a Food Addict", but then I ask myself who isn´t? And what degree of addiction do I have? Food Addiction has to be rated in levels, because I am certainly not a binge eater. I don´t hide from others eating an amount of food I shouldn´t. But do I eat more than I should in a normal meal... yes. So what level of addiction do I have!?
       When I see the amount of weight people have lost on these shows it consisted of years of hard work, not compared to the probably 4 to 6 months I would have to diet. Then by the time they have lost the weight they look a tad like I do!!!! So why do I feel like them when they were at their heaviest. I hate the age issue also, because I turned 31 and in an unconcious way that allows you to be a bit heavier than you were before... but why!??? Look at all those women who are in their 40´s or even 60´s and look better than I do!
      Where does the line stop? What is the limit? Goodness, what level of food addiction do I have?!!! I have to admit, I don´t count calories and that may be one of the reasons I am 20 pounds overweight. Inside I die everday to look like I did 10 years ago! I can´t believe that I am actualy wearing my mom´s jeans. And my inner vision of what I look like is probably not what a really look like! I know this. But I lie to myself everyday.
        So I always go to extremes.. and either diet to the extent that I can´t eat anything extra, which makes me lose my path quickly, or I eat everything on my plate and when given the opportunity eat everything I can try. So I´m going to try the middle option now.. I am actually going to start trying out portion control and counting calories and being a bit more active and being concious of what I look like and what I want to look like and what I do everyday to look better. So I´ll keep you posted on my process!
ME NOW (I´m the one in the gray striped shirt)....

ME THEN: (What I would like to look like again, what some friend have never seen me looking like):

I should behave better and love myself more....shouldn´t I!!!!????? Goodbye cupcakes......